I wish I was making this up:
Nuff nuff takes 26 years to finish rubicks cube. I know people who can do it in about thirty seconds...
And in the dying days of the Bush presidency, why don't you
have yourself pardoned? (The US president has the power to pardon almost any crime. President Ford notoriously pardoned Nixon for example. And the really dodgy pardons tend to happen in the very last days of a presidency, since there'll be no time left for criticism. So expect Bush to pardon a whole cast of dodgy characters in the next few days...)