maxcelcat | Entries tagged with weird

(Warning! This post contains some rude words, and is not appropriate for minors. I know you're all going to ignore this aren't you?)

Some background first. For some reason I still have a Yahoo! Messenger account, even though I'm not sure I actually know anyone who still uses it. It's been well and truly replaced by Facebook chat, Google Chat and indeed Skype. But my chat client, Pidgin can connect to multiple accounts, and I've included Yahoo! into the list it automatically logs into.

One reason Yahoo! Messenger sucks is because it has appalling security. So every now and then, random people and random Chat-Bot's will start conversations with you in an attempt to entice you to their p0rn website or whatever.

This happened to me today, and rather than just blocking it outright, I decided to engage it in conversation. This is the "conversation" that ensued.( Read on if you dare )
Actually, reading it again, it might have been a human... Just a very very stupid one :-)

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: "All Tomorrow's Parties" - Velvet Underground

I went a bit space cadet this morning. I was eating my breakfast.... Then I was staring at my toes for some time... Then Marvin, my cat, was sniffing them, so I stared at him.

I had the weirdest dream! I was in the back garden whipper snippering, and I snipped so hard around the base of the clothes line that I started digging up mud. Then for some reason our bed was in the “sun room”, and my girlfriend was digging out mud from the head of it. I told her if you wanted to garden you should go outside. Then I was out the front of the house with several members of my family, although it was a somewhat different house with a big white front door. For some reason, people kept on thinking it was a restaurant. And about every second pair of people turned out to be burglars, who for some reason kept on wandering up to the front door even though we were watching them. But there were some more folks inside, expecting them, so they caught them and held them for... some reason!

Then I was around the side of the house, and a whole mob of my friends had turned up to a party for me. They were trying to surprise me by turning up all at once with various Star Wars helmets on. But I was there and spotted them before they made it into the house. But I appreciated the effort, and was pleased to see that a woman called Tammy had shown up. Then I was wandering in the back of the house, wondering why someone had parked a NASCAR car there... It turned out to belong to Mario Andretti, who was also there...

Finally I heard a loud banging sound coming from upstairs (turns out this large house had at least two stories). I went up to find out what it was. A teenager with very bushy hair was in his bed, banging his head against the headboard. His parents where there watching him, didn’t seem particularly concerned. I asked what the problem was, and he handed me his maths homework, which looked like Sudoku crossed with a cross word. For some reason I could make sense of it and started helping him with it...

Then I woke up... My brain is odd.

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "Heart of Sunrise" - Yes

Lets see how much of this I can remember. I had this dream yesterday morning, so it's already fading fast.

Somehow, a peculiar deity (or cult or possibly both) had gotten a hold of me, and I had to show my loyalty with a small set of Lego pieces and a Lego baseboard. At regular intervals I was supposed to click the Lego blocks onto the baseboard in certain configurations - if I didn't, unspecified bad things would happen. I kept it by the window in my bedroom.

I resented this imposition after a while, and I started getting visits from two gentlemen in bowler hats and long raincoats, looking for all the world like they were from a Magritte painting. Their sole reprisal was to ask me why I wasn't doing the correct things with my Lego blocks...

Somehow the dream then moved on to a cafe somewhere, where there were a number of people who were possessed in some why. Not badly, or like zombies, just not themselves. Or themselves but modified somewhat. I was determined to work out what was going on, and quickly traced the cause. Not sure if this was the same cause as the Lego Deity mentioned above!

The thing that was possessing people was a glass jar. A very ordinary glass jar, media sized, with a missing screw top. Empty. The kind of thing you would have jam in. This jar, it turned out, had been possessing people for decades. It thought it was doing a good thing (er, it's not quite clear how it was explaining this to me...) since it only took hold of people who were at a low ebb, going through a rough patch. Damn, I thought, just like most religions!

I threatened to break the jar, and at that point all of the folks it had possessed started approaching me, a little bit menacingly but also a bit like they were about to mount a hug attack. I had a stern word with the jar, and it finally realised it had been doing a bad thing.

So as I walked along with it, it started to melt, starting from the screw top end. I held it upside down and flicked bits of it about as it melted. However, I discovered to my annoyance (that was all!) that all the people it had possessed were also melting!

What was that all about? I think I've been watching too much Doctor Who...

Current Music: "Bushbeats" - Wax Audio

Spotted this in the New Yorker:

From the Lake Oswego Review (Oregon): Following up a report of screaming at a residence on McVey Avenue, an officer diffused a situation by assisting in the making of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Current Music: "Big Church" - Sunn o)))

And yes, in answer to all your queries (well, one) yes indeed I was at a Roller Derby last night - see my one picture here.

This was a Victrian Roller Derby event, they're also here on Le Book Du Face.

There are apparently rules to this sport - one member of the team is a dedicated "jammer" who has to lap the rest of the pack in order to score points. However, beyond that, I had no idea what was going on. Except... Well, there's something to be said for a group of fit feisty young women racing around being maniacs... lets just say I probably wasn't the only one having Impure Thoughts :-)

Some random shots pinched from Facebook:

Current Music: "Home" - Public Image Limited

Might I draw your attention to rather interesting gallery I just popped on to Facebook. Enjoy!

Current Mood: buggered
Current Music: "Popcorn (Remix)" - Hot Butter

For some reason, this gave me the giggles:

(The song is Tunak Tunak Tun, no idea what it is supposed to be about!

Current Music: Tunak Tunak Tun

What can I say, this is why you're fat!

Current Mood: amused

I present, for the eighth straight year, the best Christmas picture you will ever see:
Nancy and Mr T

That's Nancy Reagan, then first lady, and Mr. T! I wonder what they'd have to say to each other?

Nancy: "Just say no!"
Mr. T: "I pity the fool who just says no!"
Nancy: "Can I see your supersoaker?"

And in a lighter note(?) download lots of Beatles christmas records.

Current Mood: hungry
Current Location: Northcote
Current Music: Beatles Christmas Record 1963