Them Nerd Bachelor Blues

Oooooh, my laptop has crashed
And I can't find the XP CD
My flat looks like a bomb hit it
And then hit another bomb

My cat is biting my toes
And my bathroom is mostly mould
The Black Sabbath bit torrent won't download
And I'm bored with my 12,000 MP3s

The dishes ain't been done since December
My linux box is filled with dust
I can't afford a new PC
I got them nerd bachelor bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuues

I haven't been in a cafe since yesterday
I ain't got a lady nerd to love
I haven't been laid in twelve hours
I got them nerd bachelor bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuues"

Wait, these things need to rhyme now? Shit. Think of it as a series of disjoint haiku...

[EDIT]
My kitchen smells like cat food
My home made chai is way too strong
I have to go to work tomorrow
I got them nerd bachelor bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuues"

Paul's Long Weekend, By The Numbers

Cafe's visited: Tin Pot, Degrave's Street, Traffic, Stuzzi, Alphabet for a total of five.
Restaurants: One, Salem's Indian in Coburg.
Rental houses visited: five
Houses applied for: one
Chai's consumed: About six
Lesbian's chatted to: Two! Wait... Two and a half.
Women flirted with in Real Life: Two
Women flirted with Online: Um... three maybe? :-)
Friends added on Le Book Du Face: Three
Mock renditions of the National Anthem: three
F/A-18 Fighter jets spotted: four
Members of my family encountered: About eight or so
Ninth birthday party invites: one :-)