Worst Cheesy Metaphor Ever!

Just had Chai with evildoom_bunny, during which I produced this fabulous Cheesy metaphor.

Me: So, you've heard of the continent of Gondwanaland?
Evil Doom: Er, no.
Me: Well, you know, once upon a time all the continents were all joined together...
Evil Doom: Oh yeah!
Me: Well, you and I are like that
Evil Doom: You mean we're made of rock and drifting apart?
Me: No no, I mean we fit together like that, back when it was one big lump!
Evil Doom: Oh, ok. Can I be covered in desert and forest and stuff?
Me: Sure
Evil Doom: And can I be the bit which becomes Europe?
Me: Er. Europe is all sort of attached to what they call the Eurasian landmass, but yeah sure why not.

Now, how was that for being both pathetically Cheesy and yet educational???? I challenge you to top it...

[Couple of hours later]
To further quote evildoom_bunny "We do fit together like two land masses."

Hmmm, that makes us sound like a couple of fat-arses :-)

A Random List of Questions.

Borrowed this from evildoom_bunny who in turn borrowed it from goth_prostitute. Hmmmmm, lazy blog entry :-)

b e s t
1. Male friend: Geoffrey Russell Dorey Browne (I kid you not, that's his name)
2. Female friend: If girlfriends count, then evildoom_bunny, otherwise, Hazel.
3. Vacation: Anything that involves a great deal of sleep and zero sunburn!

w o r s t
1. Time of day: When the alarm goes off. Ouch!
2. Day of the week: Sunday night, when you have to sleep knowing that tomorrow you have to get up and go to work. Ok, so that's not a whole day, in which case I nominate Tuesdays.
3. Food: Hmmmm... Given my tendency to eat anything that is actively eating me at the time, this doesn't give me a lot of scope... Really hot curries, perhaps?
4. Memory: Oooh, too gruesome to relate here!

l a s t
1. Person you saw: Probably the guy working behind the counter at the gym.
2. Talked to on the phone: Oddly, evildoom_bunny's mom!
3. Hugged: evildoom_bunny!
4. Text: Good question. Probably evildoom_bunny
5. Messaged over myspace: I am on myspace merely to stay in touch with the blogs of Snog and some other musos

t o d a y
1. What are you doing now: Writing in my blog. Now I'm typing letters. And talking to evildoom_bunny :-)
2. what were you doing earlier: Lifting weights.
3. Wearing: A kimono like Japanese garment!
4. Better than yesterday: Eh.

t o m o r r o w
1. Is: The last day before a four day weekend!!!!!!
2. Got any plans: Lunch with Hazel
3. Goal: Maintain sanity
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: See clocks, alarms

f a v o r i t e
1. Number: Any of the major powers of two. 256 for example
2. Song: "Hooray" by Snog
3. Color: Black, if black can be considered a color...
4. Season: Any one where I don't ge sunburnt or rained on

c u r r e n t l y
1. Missing: evildoom_bunny
2. Wanting: Rollmops.

~Some More Random Questions~

Who did you talk to the most today? evildoom_bunny
What is the best name for a butler? Robbie the Robot
What is the thing you are picked on most about? Currently, the bright shade of Orange I've dyed my hair!
What was your last weird encounter? I'm easily the weirdest person I know, so in any encounter I'm the weirdee, not the weirded out.
Whats the weirdest story about your scars? I stabbed my hand with a shard of glass once, and got a tiny scar. I grazed myself on a metal cabinet another time, and got a far larger scar. Go figure.
What color is your toothbrush? Fuck, you know what toothbrushes are like these days! Parts of it are white, parts of it are purple, and it feels like sticking a hairy spider into my mouth

What is your middle name spelled backwards? Sucram. Hey, that's kinda cool.
Can you eat well with chopsticks? You bet. Yum cha me!
What odd things creep you out? Ear wax
Have you ever felt an earthquake? Nope. Natural disasters mostly pass me by.
What do you do with the hot grease when you're done cooking bacon? "Grease me up woman!" - Willy.
How many good friends do you have? More than I can reasonably keep track of... I should give Neil a call... I should go look at Fab and George's baby... I should have dinner with Luna and Clive... And lunch with Brendan... And Julie... I should give Jean a call...
Whats the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? Crocodile. Water buffalo pie. Chicken's feet. Live oysters at an oyster farm
What color are your socks today? Um... Black?

What is your favorite word that starts with the letter G? Google :-)
Who do you blame for your mood today? The impending heat death of the universe. And working in an office block.
If Ricky Martin had a trademark what would it be? A big picture of him SUCKING MY DICK!
What is the closest object to your left foot? The side of my desk, some cables, a PC.
Who is your favorite Golden Girl? The dead one.
Do you have an inside joke that has to do with numbers? Probably. See powers of two above! And of course who could forget G = 1.79 = Slice of Cheese

What is the longest amount of hours you have slept in a row? Oh, the luxury. I think I once slept the better part of 18 hours.
What story do you tell most often? I am chronically repeating myself.
How do Ugly people make you feel? Beautiful. There but for the grace of the angels, as they say.
Where was your mothers hometown? The Hague in the Netherlands.
Where was your fathers hometown? Melbourne, Australia
What are the posters on your walls? Henry Rollins "25 Years of Bullshit" tour, "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly", a Dilbert calender.

Do you use online terms in real life? Sometimes, but mostly to annoy people.
What do you think people think of you? Who is that freak with the orange hair?
Do you think this year will be better than the last? You bet.
Who is the 1st person on your incoming call list and how do you feel about them? evildoom_bunny, my feelings are probably best explained by the number of mentions of said blogger.

What is the stupidest thing you have ever done? Those five hash cookies. Ooh boy.
What is your favorite commercial of the moment? I don't DO commercials
What does it take to make you cry? Onions

What are you looking forward to? Bedtime
Have you ever cried because you thought you were ugly? Nope, I cry because everyone else is so friggin' ugly
Who did you kiss today? evildoom_bunny
What do you like to do when you are alone? Surf the net in the nude
What is missing from your life? Billions of dollars.
Would you be ashamed if you wore hippie clothes? Hey, how do you know I'm not right now??? I did go through a tie-dyed jeans phase...
Grab the closest book, what does the 7th sentence on the 23rd page say? "The decision as to whether a character is a digit, white space or something else is made with the sequence:

if(c >= '0' && c <= '9')
++ndigit[c-'0'];
else if (c == ' ' || c =='\n' || c == '\t')
++nwhite;
else
++nother;

Aren't you glad you asked? Formating's a bit wrong. From "The C Programming Language".

When was the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? Well, I do tend to overfeed my girlfriend...
If it was your last day on earth what shoes would you wear? Ethical Blackspot Boots from Adbusters

Do you own a Super Nintendo? No, but I do own a Snoopy Tennis hand-held Nintendo Game and Watch from 1983
What do you think of Law and Order? Which one of the 48 spin offs are you referring to????
Can you name all 7 dwarfs? Sneezy, Grumpy, Doc, Horseflesh, nup, I'm out
Who is the hottest drummer you know? That crazy fuck from Spiderbait
Have you ever pretended to be Jewish? Yes and no. I've pretended to be Russian with a bunch of Russian Jews, does that count?
What was the last thing you thought you lost, but ended up finding? Virginity

What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying to sleep
If you had a ball of clay what would you mold it into? How big a ball are we talking here? Big enough to make, say, a Sphinx?
Do you have any famous relatives? Yes and no. Mostly no. My cousin won a Walkley award for journalism recently...
Doug or Rugrats? Rugrats.
Chicken nuggets or Chicken fingers? Ewgh. Roast the damn thing.

Pirates or Indians? Pirates every time. When is Talk Like a Pirate Day again?
Pulp OJ or No Pulp OJ? Ewgh. I don't DO juice.
Drive or Ride Passenger? I call shotgun! I have a monthly train ticket. No one has driven my car besides me since I bought it six years ago
Regular Hot Dogs or Cheesy Hot Dog? Ewgh. Ok, the cheesy one.
Beach or Pool? Neither. Bath maybe. Don't DO swimming.
Renting a movie or Going to the theater? Theater, every time.

Have you ever been cool enough to....

Push all the buttons on an elevator? What kind of maniac do you think I am???
Bake with an easy bake oven? I used something like it during the famed Gas Crisis...
Gone to school when you didn't remember you had the day off? Nope. School bites - I kept a close eye on that one!
Jungle Boogied? No, but I have done the Melbourne Shuffle.
Ever owed a Spirograph? Um, yes, yes, I think I have, or else I've envied someone who did.

What was the last

TV show you watched? I don't DO television. The last television show I was in the audience of, however, was something called Chart Busting 80's. Budget. Very budget.
Food you ate? Chicken bits
Thing you bought? Lunch, but that's boring. Um, how about, a recent purchase of a CD of frog noises of Tropical Australia, that's far more interesting
Thing someone bought you? I think someone bought me a Chai Latte today. That'd be evildoom_bunny again...
Thing you laughed at? Some lame old jokes I got in an e-mail
Person that spent the night? evildoom_bunny, in fact she's on her way over again later. Yay!

Thing that gave you chills? The half bag of ice I still have in my freezer which I bought back on the last day it was really, really hot, like three months ago now
Song you sang out loud? "Hooray" by Snog
Time you ate ice cream? I don't DO carbs!
Do you love Chris Gollow? Chris who'd now?